Reader Question:
we met men online exactly who life 500 miles out. He’s 34 and I’m 53. He performed let me know he’d a lady he dated “locally” which he had been just on the internet site shopping for friends. Three months later on we realized we thoughts for each and every additional.
Meanwhile, he nonetheless shows he is having issues with his girlfriend, who’s not somebody he is “dating” locally. He’s managing the lady and so they’ve been with each other for four years.
I finally decided we’d to generally meet to see if it was really worth following. He provided me with the primary reason the guy did not think it was right to exercise while he had been together. I finally offered him an ultimatum and informed him i possibly couldn’t play second fiddle. The guy professed their love but said he was very perplexed.
Carry out I give him ultimatum, its their or me? Was I wrong to inquire of him which will make that decision?
-Nancy (Fl)
Dr Wendy Walsh’s Response:
Oh Nancy, Nancy, Nancy! You wrote to me for honesty, right? Really, are you currently seated? Because right here will come a honey container of truth.
You will be located in fantasy secure, my personal precious lady. You have not actually came across this person just who might or might not be a man and exactly who may have a girlfriend.
I very suggest you find the documentary “Catfish” (available on iTunes and Netflix) about an online really love scam.
But even if you you should not do this, let’s assume for a moment he is really who he states he or she is and overlook the reality he started creating for you by sleeping about their relationship status.
Let’s only consider the so-called facts.
A.) He is almost twenty years more youthful than you.
B.) He’s in a life threatening connection.
C.) He said right from the start he’s merely trying to be pals.
Thus I want to know, why might you exposure the center on such a bad choice?
The question really should not be about offering him an ultimatum, but alternatively, should you give yourself the love you have earned?
If so, then this is simply not the horse you should ride to the sundown with. Operate, woman!
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